what I wore no. 6
fourth trimester body horror and some cute outfits
Some thoughts have been brewing in my head for the last few weeks about my second postpartum experience, and then I found this essay by Allison Bornstein and it finally clicked for me.
The trouble with the postpartum experience, at least in my opinion, is that during pregnancy, you’re able to so closely track what is happening to you and your fetus through apps or books. Neural tubes, fingernails, hair, sound recognition — it’s all laid out for you each week, corresponding to the fruit or inanimate object of the week for size. After the baby is born, there is no more tracking. Everything is soft, out of place, and foreign. There is no standard guidance to understand the changes, and there is certainly no finish line for when things return back to “normal.”
I wish I hadn’t spent a good chunk of my postpartum experience obsessing about my body. It feels like vain waste of energy, especially given how much is demanded of you. Why would I think about anything other than fuel and sleep? It’s beyond weight or size — it’s literally being able to contract muscles that had atrophied and touch my stomach without feeling numb. Thankfully, each long walk, group exercise experience, and physical therapy appointment brings me closer to reconnecting with my physical self.
Given that this is my sixth installment documenting my thoughts and feelings about getting dressed, it should come as no surprise that I thought a lot about my clothes over the past few months. At two weeks postpartum, I made the grave error of trying on some of my first trimester pants. Nothing fit. Then, in a haze of hormones, I went through bins of clothes I’d stored in the garage and ruthlessly edited four bags’ worth of clothes from my wardrobe. Things that didn’t fit, along with things I couldn’t conceive of ever wearing again. I felt so much lighter afterward. Perhaps not the wisest timing, but I don’t think I will come to regret it.
I tried to snap an outfit picture every time I felt like myself.
At my two week postpartum mental health check-up, which Kaiser has added in addition to the six week postpartum check-up(!). These linen track pants are too thin to wear outside of the house until spring, but I love the way they look against the orange.
I ended up wearing a version of this outfit for our family photos. Also, I somehow own three gray sweatshirts that all serve a different sartorial purpose. This one is slightly baggy and loose. Back when I wore this, I could almost tuck Georgia completely under it when nursing.
These Gap pants truly did take me far into pregnancy and postpartum. The sweatshirt on the left has paw prints down the sleeve that I find absolutely delightful. I am unsure about the fit of the button down. I sort of wish it were longer in the front? I also really want to finally get a proper iron this year so I can press the curling hems of all my button down shirts. My stepdad used to iron all of my clothes in middle and high school for me, and boy is that a specific, genuine love language.
Whenever I wear a matching sweat set I feel a little like I’m in a Covid time warp, but quarantine and the newborn bubble aren’t so dissimilar. I went on an absolute bender looking for 100% cotton sweats online for a decent price. I didn’t find anything that I loved, so I splurged on Le Bon Shoppe.
Immediately after I snapped this picture Georgia had a massive blowout that leaked through to my pants! Regardless, I am absolutely obsessed with this color combination.
The “Steve from Blues Clues” rugby is back! And I love it more than ever. I paired this with a tiny red beaded necklace and felt very 90s.
I love the way primary colors pop against these baggy olive pants. Also, the Longchamp bag is a great mom bag. When I don’t want to schlep every bag from place to place, I just grab the diaper pouch and throw it in there. I’ve had this one since I was in college. The corners are wearing out, but apparently Longchamp repairs them? When I am ready to temporarily part with it, I plan on sending it off to get patched.
Ooooh, Arc pants! I took Danielle’s advice and had my tailor let the front elastic out. They are much more comfortable but now nearly too big! I plan on selling these, sizing down, and letting the waist out. Then I will reach pant nirvana, I hope! Also, yes, I have become a phone chain person now. I’m into it.
Moving forward, I’m letting the words utilitarian (that’s the PNW way, lol), colorful, and intentional guide my style. I am focused on removing things that no longer fit or suit me and slowly adding things back from storage as they fit.
I am no longer looking for:
sweatpants/sweatsuits
barrel leg pants
animal print
colorful sneakers
casual or denim jackets
casual bags (Baggus, totes, etc.)
I am contemplating:
shearling Birkenstocks
new sports bras (though I may just tough it out until after breastfeeding is done?)
Carhartt brown overalls
Full length flare denim
Stay warm, my dear friends! As always, thank you for reading. 🍊
I love your sharp use of colour to add definition to soft layers. I wished I still had my Longchamp Pliage but I gave mine away years ago to my cousin and I kinda regret it. They were incredibly made and I wonder if they're still the same quality. Your postpartum style is great and I hope you continue to make steady progress towards feeling settled in your body, whatever that might be!
What a great group of outfits! You are amazing at pairing neutrals with the perfect pops of primary colors. You look amazing, and your baby is gorgeous.
I hope I didn’t encourage you to ruin your pants! I just had my tailor do the same to a second pair of Le Bon shoppe arc pants and these are too big now too. I’m going to fold and safety pin them on each side and hope for the best.