maternity leave 2.0

10.20.25-02.16.26

I’ll start by saying this is NOT a registry essentials post. There are so many out there, including one I wrote after my first child (when I knew nothing, lol). Stuff is stuff and you can find all the best stuff online from real experts (or people who get stuff sent to them for free)!

What I found most helpful postpartum:

• four in-home lactation visits from my dear friend (and IBCLC), Zoe

• 12 core & pelvic floor physical therapy sessions (covered by insurance, thank god)

• a visit from my mom (previously mentioned in my favorite things post)

• weekly lunch dates with Jonny

Georgia was born on the small side. Her latch was different than Ari’s, a little pinchy and took getting used to. For the first few days, in order to help her weight gain, we added a few syringe feedings based on Zoe’s suggestion. Georgia (blessedly) slept in longer stretches pretty much right out of the gate, and because we had the extra weight checks, we didn’t obsess over waking her up every two hours on the dot to feed. Having the extra support gave us the confidence to trust our instincts. A few weeks after our first three visits, we added in a fourth session to specifically practice pumping, another one of my biggest anxieties with my first baby. Zoe fitted me with the proper flange size and gently suggested I try pumping both sides at once (something I never did the first time around because NO ONE TAUGHT ME!!!). Feeding and pumping have been going well so far, and I am so grateful that I had the extra coaching.

I did not receive PT after Ari was born because it was only offered via Zoom, and the thought of spending any more time in front of a screen in 2020 made my eyeballs itch. This time around, I started PT twice a week at the end of December and dropped to once a week at the beginning of this month. My therapist did initial assessments, helped me outline my goals, and then tailored workouts and breathing techniques. I talked to her about my group fitness classes and how I was actually implementing her exercises, and we would further refine my homework. I honestly feel like my pelvic floor is almost stronger than it was pre-baby, but the most helpful part was that I felt like I had someone looking out for me specifically, especially since physician care basically disappears after the six week postpartum check-up.

I’m not proud to admit how jealous I was of seeing people out and about with their newborns post-Covid vaccine in 2021 — so many babies in their carseats napping while parents enjoyed beers on a brewery patio! By the time the world opened up for us, taking Ari out required so much wrangling and it was rarely guaranteed to be peaceful. This time around, after about two weeks (I love the 5/5/5 rule!), Jonny and I implemented a routine of going on lunch dates every Monday to take advantage of this brief window of little potato baby time. We also wanted to celebrate surviving our first few weekends of parenting two children. We ate at Sweedeedee, Addy’s, Prince, Bing Mi, Proud Mary, Posie’s, Gigi’s, Broder, and Coquine Market. This was great because we’ve paused date nights for the time being, and our dates also gave me a reason to get out of sweats and workout clothes and actually get dressed.

In the days leading up to returning to work, I felt such pangs of sadness knowing that this time was coming to an end for me. It wasn’t perfect — we had illness, stress, anxiety, sleep deprivation, all of the usual life baggage, but I felt like I was able to enjoy this time considerably more than I enjoyed the newborn period with Ari.

Obviously I spent a lot of time keeping myself awake and occupied while tending to my sweet girl, so below is a media diary, if you’re into that sort of thing.

---

TV

The Starting Five (Netflix)
I was already endeared by Tyrese Haliburton, but his storyline on this show sealed the deal for me. I also loved learning more about Jalen Brown. Sports are nothing without narrative, and I am so glad that Netflix (and ESPN’s 30 for 30) understands this!

Nobody Wants This (Netflix)
This season didn’t do much for me. I loved Esther’s growth; everything else felt pretty stagnant? I am happy to see that we are moving past TV curls and letting hair be straight again.

Sex and the City (Netflix)
Though I had seen most of SATC, I’d never done a full watch-through from start to finish. Jonny would join me from time to time and comment that he was “just watching SATC with the girls!” and I’d giggle. The last two episodes of the show really confused me — I don’t know the lore but it felt like they were test-driving a movie by dropping Carrie’s voiceover, and the tone was completely jarring compared to the rest of the series! I did love the fashion (obviously) and the prevalence of REAL, unmodified faces.

And Just Like That (HBO Max)
I have never been held hostage by a TV show quite like this. I thought the Che Diaz criticism was insane from the outside, but WOW was it warranted! I think the show should have been more like an Emily in Paris for women in their 50s… not … whatever that was.

(speaking of) Emily in Paris (Netflix)
I love this goofy, fluffy show. In the future, I want to see the same premise but a Parisian 20-something in NYC and then LA. I need a world of spin-offs!

Pluribus (Apple TV)
I got to The Fly episode of Breaking Bad and had to tap out, but I am very taken with this show, mostly because of Rhea Seahorn’s incredibly compelling performance. I am a tiny bit afraid that the plot is so open-ended it won’t actually deliver anything substantial (ahem... Severance… ahem…), but I am definitely committed to watching another season.

Love & Death (Netflix)
True crime is not really my bag, but I love Elizabeth Olsen and Jesse Plemons and enjoyed this mini series. I will say after watching two and a half episodes, I told Jonny I was feeling a little off and he said well perhaps it’s because you just watched an extremely gruesome murder show for three hours? I suggest viewing at your own risk.

Sean Combs: The Reckoning (Netflix)
Absolutely vile. Also, I am now fully convinced he was instrumental in killing Tupac.

Taylor Swift: End of an Era (Disney+)
My dear friend and fellow Swiftie came over and watched one episode with me, and we both cried on the couch, reliving our Eras memories!!!

Platonic (Apple TV)
I love Rose Byrne’s mom wardrobe in this show, and Seth Rogan’s big, silly laugh.

Queer Eye (Netflix)
I saw a tweet years ago that said Queer Eye is proof that most people’s lives could be improved with a no-strings-attached gift of $5000 (maybe 10K now, adjusting for inflation) and a little bit of therapy. There was one episode with perhaps the brattiest woman I have ever seen onscreen, but the family on the houseboat more than made up for it. I will also absolutely tune in to the inevitable documentary where all the hosts go in-depth about how everyone was actually absolute hell to work with.

The Pitt (HBO Max)
When I was in high school, I seriously considered a career in medicine, largely because of Grey’s Anatomy. I was vice president of the HOSA club and took AP Bio my senior year. (My teacher was going through a messy divorce and in the spring ordered us every single animal available for dissection. My proudest moment was disentangling a three foot long pig intestine while keeping it fully intact!) I ended up going into education instead, and my fascination with medicine waned until my aforementioned friend Katie insisted I start The Pitt. I love this show, and it has instantly become a top five favorite TV drama.

Movies

A mix of reinstated family movie night (Austin Kleon has a great post for tips on how to get this ritual started!) and two trips to the movie theater(!). As a protest to algorithms, I no longer use star ratings in apps, but I will use emojis to spare you my ill-informed criticism!

Casper ⭐⭐
Zootopia 2 ⭐⭐⭐
Hamnet ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Marty Supreme ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Monsters Inc. ⭐⭐⭐
Bad Guys ⭐⭐

Books

The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley
I wanted to like this book, but it felt so disjointed, ESPECIALLY the ending. Truly deviated in the last 1/3 from an attempt at genre-bending romance to a crazy thriller vibe, and I could not follow it. However, this may be because I read it very early postpartum and running on little sleep.

All the Way to the River by Elizabeth Gilbert
Just gonna out myself and say I enjoyed this book despite the (entirely valid) criticism! Addiction and compulsive behaviors run through my family, and this was told with love and kindness to anyone suffering from these afflictions. I also deeply admire anyone who's willing to self-examine the way Gilbert does (though more than one memoir before the age of 80 is always questionable).

Home Cooking by Laurie Colwin
I can’t want to tear through all of Laurie Colwin’s catalogue. I loved this and fully see where Alison Roman gets her attitude and writing style.

Heart the Lover by Lily King
I wasn't as emotionally devastated by this as I thought I would be, but I enjoyed it very much. Writers and Lovers is better, imho, but I am so glad she wrote this prequel.

Ruth by Kate Riley
This was a book club pick that was scorned by nearly all in attendance except for two women who really influenced me to reconsider my initial reading, which is the purpose of book club! I would caution anyone from picking a largely plotless book for a group read though — they drive some people absolutely nuts.

The Ten Year Affair by Erin Somers
Reading this book after Ruth was a trip — the prose style could not be more different. I enjoyed the structure and observation of this, and I am always up for a non-tawdry affair story.

The Uncool by Cameron Crowe
I walked so many loops around the neighborhood listening to this audiobook! I watched Almost Famous every Sunday at my dad’s house for at least a year after it came out, so hearing the stories that inform the movie landed sweetly for me. I immediately sent a copy to my dad as soon as I finished it.

Wear It Well by Allison Bornstein
I checked this out from the library this after reading Meighan Grady’s post on her styling session with Allison! I think the book is great roadmap but seeing more “real people outfits” (like in Grady’s post) is more helpful in terms of fine-tuning personal style.

Podcasts

Every Outfit
Good Noticings
Ezra Klein
Diabolical Lies

Music

I did an “album advent” challenge in December to rewire my brain away from playlists and back into complete albums. My favorites included I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One by Yo La Tengo, Tusk by Fleetwood Mac, Getting Killed by Geese, Another Green World by Brian Eno, Graceland by Paul Simon, Cazimi by Caitlin Rose, Anti by Rihanna, and Currents by Tame Impala.

---

I’ve been back at work a week now and hope to get in a groove with posting more regularly over the next few months. Thank you for reading!

With love,

Lexie