I think everyone everywhere lives with an unanswerable, life circumstance question. Maybe more than one. The question changes over time, but it is always there. The earliest question I remember was if should I live full time with my mom or my dad. That question was, in so many ways, answered for me. As I got older, my question centered around my religious beliefs and interpretations of The Bible. I never wrestled much with what I wanted to do with my life, but after college I spent almost two years trying to decide if I wanted to move back to Nashville. When I met my now-husband, the question was if, and later, when we would get engaged. Then it centered around our careers and where we would live.
Whew, this speaks to me so much and is also my Question -- the answer I look for in the dark between awake and asleep. <3
You are absolutely not alone!!!